LESSON #6: Blending in and Belonging isn't the Same Thing

My family immigrated to Australia in late 1987 from Canada, with little knowledge about our soon-to-be surrounds. Without the Internet, social media, Skype and cheap airfares, the world seemed like a much bigger place in the 80’s. Though I had a fairly good idea of what existed beyond the great white maple syrup drenched lands of Canada, my geography was a little shaky. So when my mother told us we were moving to Australia, I immediately began to fantasise about strolling the streets of Vienna, listening to Mozart and eating an ungodly amount of Danishes. A European princess.

“No – Not Austria… Australia. Like in Crocodile Dundee.”

My mother’s correction cut through me like a knife. But THAT GUY didn’t know how to use an escalator. What kind of godforsaken country doesn’t have an escalator? I watched Crocodile Dundee over and over again, trying to make sense of the insanity. Time and time again, all I could deduce from the movie was that Australia had a lot of open space, was filled with crocodiles, populated by leathery old men and seriously lacked the presence of a decent shopping center. It was clear to me that my parents had lost their minds.

LESSON #5: I Have a 1980's TV Dad

I don’t need a Buzzfeed test to tell me that my father is a 1980’s TV dad.

The loving, caring, supportive yet goofy and fun father figure of every single 1980’s sitcom was what I thought all fathers were like. In my mind, those sugary scripted comedies might as well have been documentaries... that's how realistic that kind of father was to me.   

It took me a while to understand that my father was the exception, and not the norm. My friends often fantasized about being taken into the folds of the Huxtable household or adopted into the Seaver family, even for one day… just so they can experience a father like theirs. It was a yearning I never comprehended.... because, truth be told, I always thought my father could run paternal rings around Steven Keaton. In his sleep. No contest.